It has been a long time since I stepped into dis page of mine. Too many things have occupied my mind dat I did not have time to do other things much. Have always hoped dat dere would be atleast a spark of light in my life but I guess as much circumstance has made me walk in to the much darker side of life.
I knoe some mite think this gal has nuthin else than complain..yeah I do wish dat I also do haf some great things to blog about.
I guess I realized that I am living in a selfish world. I wish I could just explain everything n every single bit of my feelings in words but I tried finding and I could not seem to get any. Living a life for yourself and living for others is two different worlds. I guess I am categorized in the latter.
Everyone told me that everything will be fine soon and things will get better. I used to believe that if we struggle in life now later we will enjoy. But now I have totally lost hope in all and have put up my hands on air and surrender. I am scared that one fine day my brain cells might just explode n die while I am sleeping.
Life should have thorns in order to reach the petals, but what if the path has only thorns there isn’t any petals to be found. What to do? The best medicine is a mother’s lap for me to lay and cry out my problems. The saddening part I can neva haf that opportunity, unless my goddess Durgai Amman gives me that opportunity which I noe one day she might.
When you are physically tired, u can cure it by resting and relaxing. When you are mentally tired, what is it we can do? Knowing me for too long yet you cannot see the difference in me, is actually quite saddening to know. Do you what is the worse? You can show empathy and sympathy on others but if you yourself is upset for your own dats really heart wrenching pain.
No matter how much I fight, struggle and battle in the War or life, I seem to lose and see failure in the end. Someone told me its okay to compare yourself with others but if the comparison gets worse, then our thoughts will be running even more. Yeah indeed it is true but can’t really help it though.
All those around me are much educated in life, good job, a complete family, fantasy, dreams come true etc..Of coz I would feel very inferior compared to them. Coz that is human nature.
I used to have a lot of dreams but now am only left with nightmares. The hilarious part is, after reading this entry of mine, then there will be some coming and ask, “hey why, wat happen” *laughs out* in the back of mind I would think where were you when I needed you? But I know its not fair either cause each individual have their own personal life.
Lastly all I would like to say, thanks to all who has been there for me and bless all who is leading a good life.
Labels: Crying River