As a ITE student I was given a promise from the path of education that once I grad wif a higher nitec cert, I can get a job wif big companies, good position starting pay as $1500 and etc..and I grad a month ago till now am still looking for a job and where i haf applied not even one company called me up. This shows that I am not even eligible enuff for a shortlist candidate also. People haf come to a conclusion that I am being stress, depress, mentally disturbed juz becoz I haf yet to get a job. But the fact is no am not stress. I am juz frustrated dats all. If I cannot handle stress den I would haf been dead long time ago or I would have killed someone.

After reading from da papers and blog entries abt mothers who are not taking care of their children, I wonder why on the earth do they even bring the life to this world. As well I find it ridiculous to make some not qualified woman to be mothers. Those who can be the best mum in the world are not given the opportunity to bear a child. God is really funny. Jokes and Tricks are made to laugh but the ones he gives or does make human tear.

Being at home as made me lost me. I am always misunderstood or I can never be understood. Complicating is my life just as me. I neva get the chances to explain and am always the mistake as well as the blame. This is why I always say “Good Things and Good People Are Neva Appreciated”. When I am doing the right things and when I am in the right way people don’t recognize it but the moment I do a small mistake and I am in the wrong the whole world points the finger at me and I get free recognisation.

It is kind of a comedy when people add u in friendster and now after abt 2yrs later they deleted ur name from the frenz list. Which means it took so long for them to regret or are they actually guilty abt things dey haf done. Weird. Anyway by deleting my name from deir list of frenz has made dem happy means, I should be more content coz atlast I haf one less enemy who has hidden themselves in the list called frenz. If u are guilty abt this particular entry and u are gonna make a big fuss over it as well if u plan to bitch abt me in tagboard or ur blog I dun give a hood. In the mental state I am I would neva hesitate for a challenge..but wait I haf never hesitated for a challenge.

How I wish I could juz be wrapped in the pink baby cloth and my mum carrying me in her arms and look at her happiness. Probably that’s the only happiness I can give her as her 50th Birthday Gift. Happy Birthday Mum.

In the surface of the sea called life, I have given the impression to people around me that I am a happier person. But deep down the depth of life, I haf some wounds which can neva be healed, some pain which neva goes even after taking pain killers, some hurts which can neva be erased from my memory. But where is the happiness?

There was once I sent a sms asking “What is one of my characteristics u want or u like from me.” Majority of my frenz said they like my outstanding character and da way I stand up for myself. Now the conclusion is am I really the person they described? Or haf I lost that person in me? Life has made me 3 rings. PondeRing on my life. TeaRing for a betta life, SuffeRing in my life. I know very well that life has neva been fair for anyone that’s why I am still able to tolerate all this rather den coming to a conclusion which some people think it’s the best way to escape. Everyone said committing suicide is the most coward decision. But I will say that it is the most courageous and brave decision to take but by a person who cannot run anymore to tackle the problems in the journey called life.

Labels: Lost Soul

My recent entry has made an impact when the close one reads it. haha well like wad some of dem said if only it was real.
In a week straight 3 days met bestie.
1st was accompanying to her school to pass up her project and it was hilarious being stucked in bewteen of people who does not understand ur language and vice versa.
2nd was she accompanied me for an interview. We took a cab to find out the place is juz a 1-2mins walking distance from where we standing. After interview went to tekka and went to prem's shop.
Meeting da teddy bear of mine after a long time was good though he looks a lil haggard now. I think he needs a haircut.
3rd was going to tekka again to buy some prayers things for the Indian New Year. den headed back home.

Today is known as The Indian New Year therefore i would like to wish all my indian frenz a Happy Prosperous New Year as well to all Punjabi frenz Happy Vesakhi (sorry if the spellin is wrong).
Juz for today after a long time i cooked today and even took pics of how my dishes looked. LOL!!! Below are some of the pics i took wif my bestie after my interview and also wif prem. as well my dishes.












The food was good. It was commented by my sis. Lolz! soon shall write an interesting entry.

Labels: Bonkers

Staring at the screen for quite some time till my brain cracked something to blog about is actually tiring. I don't even haf a life to write abt a random entry actually. Being cooped at home wif so much problems and boredness life juz doesn't seem to be getting any betta.
Finding a job wif my interest is juz too difficult or should i say dat i am too fussy and choosy. Maybe i gotta live wif the choice of life. There is always a saying dat goes "we cannot haf the two best things in the world, we can haf one n sacrifice the other" But if i cannot even get one den how. Everyday i look at the newspapers for job, all they ask for is Diploma, Degree Holders and all. The best is some ask if i haf experience for atleast 3yrs and more. The logic is if the employers are not gonna gif me a chance to work den how on the earth would i gain the experience.

We had a great time together. After meeting each other a long time we had so much things to chat abt and having fun. First in the morning he sent me a sms saying

Dude:gal i haf been mishing u loads shall we meet again" i replied
Babe: yeah i am free. so where u wanna go
Dude: hmm..lets haf a day full of activities
Babe: atlast can haf some fun after a long time :)
Dude: aitez meet u at khatib mrt we shall head to town
Babe: kewl. at 11:30am.

after getting da cash from my dad. dressed up and went to da station. and oh my meeting him was juz great coz haf been cooped up at home. da 1st thing he juz gave me a tight hug and most priceless smile of his. I gave him my most smallest peck on the his cheeks.
We boarded the train n headed to orchard. We were the most noisiest couple in the train. all he did was taking candid pics of me and talking crap and disturbing every single person and also the culprit got caught by me for looking at other gals. He asked "dun tell me u are jealous" and i was like "uh..nah i was too busy checking out the guy opposite dat i haf no time to be jealous" But da moment his smile disappeared "looks like he is jealous" i tapped him n said "u are da best" den we reached orchard. walked alot. had our lunch at Mac and talking crap. after much long time holding his hands and walkin juz makes me forget the world. We went to cineleisure and saw a couple shirt saying "stop lookin at her she is my princess" dis is for the guys shirt and as for the gals "stop looking at him he is my prince" well as he was adamant to buy the shirt i was like fine fine.. we bought the shirt and the shop owner said we look like a cute couple. i was like laffing. he was adjusting his collar saying its becoz of him dat our relationship looks cute. i was like wadeva la Idiot. We went to watch a movie "Because I Said So" it was a beautiful sweet comedy and love movie. i was the only one watchin the movie coz the idiot was watching me. He was like eating his popcorn n suddenly he was like "will we be watching movie juz like dis after we tell our parents abt us" i was like.."wld u juz shut up" he suddenly hold my hands tight like as though i am gonna leave him. I juz lied on his shoulders and said "dun worry baby our relationship will be the most adored by our parents coz atlast my father can be happy dat i haf found someone who is responsible and take care of me." after da movie we wanted to play bowling. we went to marina. i seriously think dat he needs to go for some bowling lessons at least from me LOL!!! we played 3 games and yeah we were tired. We headed to causeway pt to go swensons. I had dis craving to eat ice-cream and he was like are u gonna indulge in dat all by urself. i laffed and said u can a haf a lil from me. He smiled and fed me coz i love to be pampered. after a long day. we headed back home. we got down at yishun and walked back home. he was like saying da day was super good for him and i told him i had a wonderful day and its becoz of him. i was gonna reach my block. he gave me a peck on my forehead and i gave him on his cheeks. after staring into each other's eyes we had our lips met. den we said goodbye. and i went back home. I was too tired and went to bed. The next morning my mum was nagging me to wake up and i was like wait wait..da moment i open my eyes all i realised it was juz a dream.

Only some would realise why did i write such an entry. Loneliness Is My Best Fren and Boredom is my close fren Argghh!!! dats all i gotta say for now.

Labels: Complicated, cooped wif feelings