I wonder at times or even asked myself a million times, have i done so much of sins in my last generation to go through so much. As i guess no one has da answer for that. To speak sincerely, i miss myself so much. I miss da laughter, da bubbly and outgoing me. My eyes being weld up, tears seems to flow like water fall. The only difference is dat a water fall is beautiful and its tears of joy. But for my eyes is not beautiful and its not tears of joy.

I have shut myself from da world and i won't noe wen will i return back. Like my bestie said it will take sometime but it can never be fast. The funny issue is i can't even hold on to a fake smile also for long. My silence speaks alot of things but no one can hear dem. My daily lifestyle is like Mon-Fri Work and only work. Back home take a bath, eat and sleep. The lifestyle i'm going through is juz not me but wad can i do as i give others da happiness.

As days pass by, i feel like i'm going through some psychiatrical problem. You know wen people hide their emotions within themselves and scream and cry without any sound is like a torture and i really wish no one should go through like i wad i am going. To many people eyes, i am a strong person, i am a person wif such capability to handle any blows in life. But the truth does anyone noes da child in me.

I feel dat my life has capsized.

The earlier part of my entry was abt me and now lets speak of motherhood. My dearest sister in law has given birth to da most beautiful angel on 5th October. Motherhood..people may think wads so great abt it. Basically its like juz getting pregnant, having some pains, morning sickness, cravings and all but hell no..

First is getting pregnant, becoming a mother is really something great. The nine months a small lil infant growing, though it may gif pains, mood swings and all but overall it gives a unexplainable pleasure and happiness in it. Last during the labour pain. The pain is a pain no mothers can eva describe or explain it. But in that hours of pain, in the end wen they hear the cries and da smile of their child all pain disappeared within a sec. Thats how it was for my sis in law, she went through labour pain for abt 8hrs and lastly she gave the world a lil princess. That princess is officially known as lil dino or pinky gal coz dey haven name her yet but she is juz adorable.

Mothers are really the undescribable, beautiful and wonderful creations of God.

That doesn't mean we should neglect our fathers. They are the great man and i am serious. Mothers can neva be mother's without the help of dad. Like dey always said "It takes two hands to clap" I am who i am is partially becoz of my dad and i am really proud as well as gifted to haf such a dad.

Yesterday he cooked, i did helped me cut some veges and all da overall cooking is done by him. During weekdays i cooked, though i am not a great cook as him but i still managed to dish out some dishes but in my own style. I won't say dey were superb but were edible. I am still under the course of the book "teaching dummies how to cook" :)

Thats all i haf now to blog abt. If i haf anything else to say my next entry will say it all.
The end.

Labels: speechless