As human being we haf to accept the changes in our lives. Some changes is made by ourselves and some is already created by the one above.

I haf always said alot of philosophies to many people. Some i do really believe and follow and some i dun. But dis particular philosophy has made an impact in my life which is.."When the person is near, u neva appreciate them and wen dey leave, u regret and miss deir presence"

If only she knew how much i loved her. Its really unfair for her to leave me halfway and go.She has yet to see me become a graduate. She has yet to see me get a license and i drove her around.She has yet to see me get married and start my own family. She has yet to see me growing old.She has yet to know how much love i haf for her.

Many people haf said dat losing someone is natural in everyone's life. I agree wif dat point but circumstance and situation is not the same for everyone.
Evertime wen i was sick, she wiped my vomit and all, and now she made me wipe her vomit but she was not there to see it. If only i realised how sick she was, how sad she was. Looking at her sleeping right infront of my eyes and knowing she is not gonna wake up anymore is really painful. Losing someone close is really a painful path to go through and wad can be worse wen u are being blamed for the person's lifeto be gone. How can i bear it wen the fingers are pointing at me for her death. I have complaint many times abt her, i dun really like her nagging at times but neva haf i told dat she must leave the world and me.

If only she was here, she would fight for my rights and tell off everyone who is talking abt me. But she is not.
I really miss her alot.
I miss her laughter.
I miss her lame jokes.
I miss her watching Vijay movie engrossly.
I miss her talking to the dogs.
I miss her dancing.
I miss asking her to bring me to mac and she will be wondering wad to buy as she dun normally eat fastfood.
Then she will ask why my burger is bigger den hers.
I miss her enjoying her coffee at Mac.
I miss her enjoying her breakfast at coffeeshop.
I miss her talking to me while she is cooking.
I miss her style of dressing up.
I miss her enjoying swensens ice cream.
I miss watching many movies wif her in theatre.
I miss her asking many questions when she is watching english movie as she dun really watch dem.
I miss her admiring me wen i am going out.
I miss her asking wen i am gonna haf a boyfren.
I miss her cooking though i complaint abt it.
I miss waking her up for work.
I miss her singing.
I miss calling her by her full name.
I miss her short height.
I miss her happiness wen i brought her out for mother's day.
I miss her wiping my tears wen i am really down.
I miss her sleeping in my room where she said the only place she gets to sleep peacefully.
I miss her playing computer games.
I miss watching her do puzzles.
I miss watching her eat sweets and choc like kids.
I miss talking to her.
I miss her alot.
I miss her voice.
I miss her smell.
I miss her touch and
I miss calling her Ma.

How i wish she cld be wif me now, How i wish she could hug me now, How i wish she could wipe my tears. Even though i was in her womb for only 9 months, she and i know it was a lifetime bond. Our bond can neva be explained in words. There was so much things i wanted to talk to her, There was so much jokes i wanted to share wif her but she left without listening to me and my jokes. The only mistake we both did was, we loved and like each other so much but we neva showed it out.

I maybe 23yrs old ma, I may haf grown up to some people eyes. I must take da responsibilities over ma but only u knew i am still a child ma. You wanted me to get a good job and now when i haf da job u are not here to see me off to work. Why didn't u utter a word to me, Why did u leave me and go, why u made me feel da loss of a mother. I haf always respected motherhood, I haf always respected all mothers but neva did i eva imagine my mother wld leave me and go in such a young age. I haf always yearn for love from u, I haf always yearn for your hug, I haf always yearn for u to feed me but now u haf made me yearn for u totally. Ma whereva u are, i want u to be happy. I want u to smile always. I will neva forget those eyes which has so much wishes and meaning. I will neva forget the smile which always says dun worry i am here. Ma you haf always been and will always be part of me. I miss and love u alot.

My mum's funeral has really taught me alot of things abt life and mankind. I realised that only in a funeral u can really know everyone's real dem. I haf known who stood by me and who neva. I am not gonna go around blaming anyone coz nothing is gonna change. I can only say treasure all yr loved ones.