As a ITE student I was given a promise from the path of education that once I grad wif a higher nitec cert, I can get a job wif big companies, good position starting pay as $1500 and etc..and I grad a month ago till now am still looking for a job and where i haf applied not even one company called me up. This shows that I am not even eligible enuff for a shortlist candidate also. People haf come to a conclusion that I am being stress, depress, mentally disturbed juz becoz I haf yet to get a job. But the fact is no am not stress. I am juz frustrated dats all. If I cannot handle stress den I would haf been dead long time ago or I would have killed someone.
After reading from da papers and blog entries abt mothers who are not taking care of their children, I wonder why on the earth do they even bring the life to this world. As well I find it ridiculous to make some not qualified woman to be mothers. Those who can be the best mum in the world are not given the opportunity to bear a child. God is really funny. Jokes and Tricks are made to laugh but the ones he gives or does make human tear.
Being at home as made me lost me. I am always misunderstood or I can never be understood. Complicating is my life just as me. I neva get the chances to explain and am always the mistake as well as the blame. This is why I always say “Good Things and Good People Are Neva Appreciated”. When I am doing the right things and when I am in the right way people don’t recognize it but the moment I do a small mistake and I am in the wrong the whole world points the finger at me and I get free recognisation.
It is kind of a comedy when people add u in friendster and now after abt 2yrs later they deleted ur name from the frenz list. Which means it took so long for them to regret or are they actually guilty abt things dey haf done. Weird. Anyway by deleting my name from deir list of frenz has made dem happy means, I should be more content coz atlast I haf one less enemy who has hidden themselves in the list called frenz. If u are guilty abt this particular entry and u are gonna make a big fuss over it as well if u plan to bitch abt me in tagboard or ur blog I dun give a hood. In the mental state I am I would neva hesitate for a challenge..but wait I haf never hesitated for a challenge.
How I wish I could juz be wrapped in the pink baby cloth and my mum carrying me in her arms and look at her happiness. Probably that’s the only happiness I can give her as her 50th Birthday Gift. Happy Birthday Mum.
In the surface of the sea called life, I have given the impression to people around me that I am a happier person. But deep down the depth of life, I haf some wounds which can neva be healed, some pain which neva goes even after taking pain killers, some hurts which can neva be erased from my memory. But where is the happiness?
There was once I sent a sms asking “What is one of my characteristics u want or u like from me.” Majority of my frenz said they like my outstanding character and da way I stand up for myself. Now the conclusion is am I really the person they described? Or haf I lost that person in me? Life has made me 3 rings.
PondeRing on my life.
TeaRing for a betta life,
SuffeRing in my life. I know very well that life has neva been fair for anyone that’s why I am still able to tolerate all this rather den coming to a conclusion which some people think it’s the best way to escape. Everyone said committing suicide is the most coward decision. But I will say that it is the most courageous and brave decision to take but by a person who cannot run anymore to tackle the problems in the journey called life.
Labels: Lost Soul
