Myself: ma I have a strong feeling dat I will fall for him

Mama: no durga..its nit time for relationship for u..

Myself: but why?

Mama: well by ur astrology thingy..u and love is too far and u wun have a relationship for now..and falling in love is not in ur destination..

Myself: ma..did u juz came down from India or wad..? grrr…

Mama: well juz listen and juz dun fall in love or get urself tangled in relationship all

Myself: *mumbling* well I juz dun noe la..wads happening..i think u quit ur job as mum and have turned to be a saint or a nun or dun noe wad..grr..

Mama: ya..ya..u wun noe..

Myself: anyway if all astrology is working den why do people get divorce still..ahh..*walks away*

Mama: *looks wif shock*

Well..look people I do believe in astrology too I din deny da fact..but sometimes its really too much…arghhh…u noe da feeling being single..ahh..yeah people might say I am single and loving it..like as though Mac Advertisement..haha..but da real feeling is..i dun noe how true it is but some who are single..feel irritated, angry, jealous and etc and etc..yeah sometimes its wrong to feel dis way but den looking at da other side its fair to have dis kinda feeling…yeah..hmm..i juz think dat I wanna stay single till my dad start to look for prospective groom for me…wahahhaa..typical gal..ahh..we shall juz wait and see wads happening…sorry guys I am able to date but not to be in relationship…wahahahhaa…*winkz* hmm by da way juz wanna ask…why do people get married when dey wanna divorce man..why is dat when dey are courting things are different and when dey got married oh my..and especially after a few mths or a year or juz after one kid…everything and everyone changes…ahh…I seriously dun understand human nature..dey speak one and action is one…human..maybe dey are juz like dat…look I am not here to condemn anyone..juz speaking wad I feel and if u think I am being lame..by all means u can visit other blog..yeapz..wad can I say..

My lips neva utter wad I feel in my heart..my eyes neva reveal da pain and agony I am in…my fingers neva type exactly wad I wanna say…ahh..i juz can’t keep on bottling everything up coz da more I did da more pain I have in my chest…my loneliness, depression an everything has been bottled up..do u think its safe to do that..i juz can’t talk it out..coz no one juz understand..nowadays da level of my patience has increased..seriously..only those who are close wld noe wad am I saying..ahh..

Hmm..i juz dun noe wads exactly da feeling I am going through. Do you think I need to see a psychiatrist…I need someone who can juz tell da mess I am going through.. sometimes I know dat I have some expectations which is over da board…but I am also a human..ahh…Falling In Love is already a difficult thingy but Making Yourself Fall Out Of The Love…Oh my..its not easy..haha..but I guess it is usual routine for me.. I think I juz need to keep myself occupied…Maybe I will ask my mum if she has da cash I wld fly from here to somewhere…I rather juz travel ard..When everyone needed someone I was dere..but when I need juz one…everyone is found to be nowhere…muahahahhahaha…when I juz need to talk..ahh…dats when coincidentally so many incoming calls, sms, interrupters, disturbance…ahh..den I will be like..ahh..juz forget it…my my….God I neva ask much but u din wanna see da lil I ask for…wad am I to u…a child wif sin..hmm..i guess dats wad I am..a devil in disguise..a sadist..haha..

I feel like screaming at da top of my voice..banging myself onto something…punching the wall…arghh…but I have exams…and I seriously need to do well coz I badly wanna do my Higher Nitec in Business Admin..and now it all depends on my results..gosh…I noe among u people put dere…some might think I am juz mumbling and grumbling ..but only I noe dat each word I wrote has a life for it…and has a meaning…I noe very well dat problem is something which everyone has and goes through..but come on…I can juz talk abt it right..dun tell I am dun have da right…and oh ya…dere has been so much of condemning abt me..hmm..i wonder why..and especially if its from someone close..oh my…u might be juz joking and kidding but..its hurting someone else…

I think my parents think I am invisible in da hse…yeah…dey noe well dat I am not working and stuff…so when I like once in a while wanna go out and ask for cash..dey wld be like start deir nonsense..by saying I am asking too much..and am like wasting and blah and blah…but plz have a tot I am 21 and yet no savings and stuff…wad can I do…and its damn freaking difficult to get a job..ahh..money is not a big issue…but when u dun even have a lil it becomes the most impt issue man…haiz…juz dun noe wad to…oh my gosh My Life Is Complicated..