light up the darkness
The Writer
A Simple Gal With Extraordinary Personality
She Keeps Her Heart Guarded Most Of The Time
A Gal Who Has Lost Many Things In Life
A Gal Who Still Believes A Sparkle May Appear
In Her Dark Life


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Dis is Gonna Be a Long Entry..@Thursday, January 20, 2005

School

okies...back frm dun noe where...hmm..i am gonna start frm school life..well nowdays its getting very stressful man..its juz not da timetable only but oso da modules...my 1st module was so much relax and easier..and my 2nd one..gosh...i juz dun noe...and i feel i am slacking and i dun wan to..and ya..after holidays looks like alot have changed..haha..nvm..feeling lonely and leftout...but at da same time juz happy dat i have still some frenz to tok to..haiz..oh ya dere are so many January Intake Students..gosh...da way dey look at me..like as though i am junior for dem...nonsense. hmm...rite now juz looking out to teach tuition to improve some students and also earn money...coz i am totally terribly broke...i have to starve in order to save..hope someone wld help...yeah...for school life...dats all i guess..oh ya..today i totally screwed up in a test..i dun noe wad was running in my mind..coz instead of writing down da advantages of sole proprietor i name da features....damn...i failed my 1st test itself...gosh...

Family Life

hmm.....dis topic...wahahhaahahahhahaha....only shamz shld noe why...well...looks like dey have been making use of me kinda thing...when dey need me dey use me...when deir problem is solved..ahh...i am invisible..am i fated to be like dis or fate wants me to go thru dis shit...dey have forgotten dat i am also a human..ahh..juz dun noe wad to say...today i wen to pay utilities bill...and only sham n myself noes wad shit i wen thru..though she noes only da basic...lolz..well u ppl might think how come shamz noes everything..well she is my best fren..and i for her i seriously dank god for telling me and showing me dat dis jeevan exist and she will be my best fren...wahahhaha....and i have always not only look at her as my fren but oso a lil sis lovable annoying sis of mine...wahahahha....coz no matter she irritate me..i am juz kewl abt it..and she must be lucky abt dat...okies...oh ya...my mum and i keep on arguing and stuff...dun noe when i am gonna run away...coz i dun wish too...as i am da one gonna get da bad name...i will tolerate deir nonsense..and wait till dey will regret when i am not dere wif dem...

Friends

i was msging shamz dat i wanna commit sucide..lolz..well pplz..dun get tense...coz i wun do dat..*winkz* and ya...was telling her my life is like in a mess and stuff..dun noe why god dun have a heart for me...den she replied saying dun do anything stoopid and stuff...so i told her no la i wun commit sucide all coz i wanna live my dream life..and hope dat my heart doesn't stop beating..and u noe wad she replied me...haha...well wad she said touched me..wahahahha...dis is wad she said "Your heart will stop beating when your time is up.And ma dear..Your time isn't up yet" wahahhahaha...isn't dat lil brat cho sweet...lolz..dere are so many ppl out dere have something against me or dey have juz something to tell abt me badly..but dis shamz is always listening to my probz..and yeah she encourages me alot...and she is my strength also...but sometimes i feel dat maybe she has also something to tell..or maybe am i pissing her also..am i irritating her also..so many quest...juz dun noe why i am feeling like dat...maybe she dun wanna tell coz she thinks she might hurt me...wahahahha...i noe shamz will be staring and saying WTH!!!...wahahhaa..sorry ma its juz a feeling..not dat i am saying dat u must have anything against me..and yeah..prem juz realise da basic of wad i am going thru home and looks like he is pretty shock...dun worry teddy..wad i have said or u have listen is juz da basic..u have yet to go deeper...and i dun think u wld or shld go coz u will have a tear in ur eye...wahahhahaha....oh ya...i am happy for jag..congrats jag for telling me a happy news and all da best...hmm...menaka..wad shall i say abt dis gal...hahahaha...she is too bz..and for da past few days we have been having like a kinda of a debate in wadeva we tok...and looks like its me who starts it...sooner i need a masking tape for my mouth...many have said dat i prick deir heart...some say i am a light in deir dark life..wad am i? a torch wif battery or a rose wif a sharp thorn...well...nothing much to say..abt frenz for now...only dat dey are my life....i am happy coz of dem and my sweet cuzins..dey really make my day and life...

Birthdays

oh ya...on 17 Jan was my sis b'dae...and yest was geetha sis birthday...we were all trying to put cream on her face...and yeah she was like fighting against madhan...wahahhahahaha....damn farnie...and at last everyone had cream on our face except da uncle and aunt...only madhz, my sis, punetha sis, uncle and aunt was dere...and myself...damn fun...and yeah not forgetting my heart throbs nephews...and yeah on sunday..16 Jan we all wen to my aunty's hse to give a suprise b'dae party..shamz oso came...u noe why shamz we invite u..coz u are in my family...and damn u feel like in ur own world...donkey monkey...okies..back to da b'dae..we waited downstairs for all of dem to come..and my aunt was getting ready in her hse..thinking dat we all are going to Malaysia..wif us...wahahahha...wen all came...we wen upstairs...get ready da banner...and da party poppers...and knocked da door....when she open it...wahahahhaha....her reaction was damn shocking....lolz...she was in tears of joy...and i am happy dat we all made her sooo..happy...den we played some games...carrying n throwing...ppl...dancing...so much of food...yummy...and cutting da cake...taking pics....ahh...had fun...den watched vetri vizha...ahh...dat niranjan guy sang damn nice...and he is damn cute...haha...yeah...after da show..all left....and ya..now waiting for suba's and madhz b'dae to come...dats all for da b'dae...

My Lil Heart Desires

i dun noe why dat my heart tells me everyday dat she lacks something...and wad is it...i dun noe...really dun noe...lonesome can really make my imagination go wild...but dat doesn't mean dat i am like desperate to find love...u dun find for love...dey will come finding for u..and dis is wad many says..and tell me when it does...lolz..i wanna study...i wan career..i wan savings..i wan so many things which my heart desires..and ya..i wld agree wif da fact i wan love...it can be fm anyone....doesn't mean it must be frm a guy whom i like or vice versa..*winkz* i wanna go shopping..change my wardrobe..though it is a lil change..and i wanna change my hairstyle..hmm...but why i wanna do all dis...am i like changing nyself for something...am i being someone whom i am not...*shrugs shoulders* hmm...u noe let me share wad my lil heart always dream abt...One day i am walking on da path way wearing a chudithar (indian traditional suit)...da wind gently caressed my cheeks...and a guy turns and look gosh..she has stolen my heart..haha...and he comes nearer to me...and says "Hi Miss..u look beautiful..can i noe ur name..i smile and say..hello..and dere we become frenz...with / without knowing we fell in love...and we began to live our life...getting married wif him..everyday fun and yeah at times he gets kicked outta da bedroom..haha..and he cooks while i watch TV!!!!...lolz...doing hsewrks together...massaging for each other..buying small gifts..suprising each other...flirting with each other...put love notes in each other pocket w/o knowing...hehe..sing to me while i sleep..admire me da way i sleep lying my head on his lap...watch romantic movies...and remember da fav part of mine...lolz..go for holiday...start a family...and yeah have kids...and love da kids as much we love each other...and not to forget each others love in da hse though we have kids...one boy one gal...ahh...such a beautiful family...live in a 5 room HDB Flat or Executive Flat..with such a romantic and beautiful renovation....mine and his cute pics..in da hse...candid shot of his and mine in our bedroom..hahahha...wldn't dis be such a beautiful life...oh my...wld i meet him...will he look at me...will he fall in love and vice versa....its all in my journey of life...right now i am struggling and catching my tear dropz..while i kneel down..wld anyone break dis barrier ard me and wipe away da tears held behind my eyes...and give my heart sooo much of happiness which i have lost in 20yrs...so Many questions..running everyday in my mind and heart...and most i dun have da answer...i noe to some it might be very dramatic in wad i said...but pplz...its my dream life...dats da reason why i love to dream..so dat i can go in my dreamz to live dis life...haiz...

Note

Oh My..dis is one of my longest entry...gosh...hope u all din get bored reading and if u all like it plz tag me...and yeah i have said wad my heart feels and my mind said...dats..all..if u dun like it too bad...if u like it...dankz...hmm...dats all...c ya in my next entry..signing off wif a tear in my eyes while i smile..


Scribbled by Breaks Da Hearts Of Many Guys.